The day has finally come. It’s been a while since I changed. I’ve been living the same, thinking same, feeling the same. For way too long I was stuck in a part of a story, I no longer belonged to. When the chapter had long finished, I would reread it everyday, hoping I could have it back, knowing I would never. Like time, it was gone forever. Days turned into weeks, weeks turned months and months turned into a year and still I was holding onto something that could never be captured. Trapped, my own body grew heavy from the pain of not wanting to let go of the past. The weight carried in my heart laid heavy on my shoulders and as days passed on it only got heavier. Breathing was hard and sometimes I felt like I was suffocating on my own thoughts.
But like they say, “that too shall pass” and as time went on, I got better. I started accepting, the past was the past and I would never see it again. I started being okay with that. I became excited for what laid ahead and even though I had no idea what to expect and for the first time in my life I didn’t have a plan, I was looking forward to the future. I felt lighter, but something was still holding me back. Something was pulling me down, as if to tell me that this wasn’t over yet. And my feeling was right. When I looked in the mirror, I still saw the tired, exhausted and sad girl that I once was. I was happier and I felt lighter, but the reflection in the mirror wasn’t the person I was anymore. She was still that little girl, who was afraid. Afraid of letting go and afraid of the future. I knew I couldn’t be the new person I was so close to becoming, before not letting her go too. And so the time came for change. It was time to say goodbye and grow into my new shoes.